Things My Pastor Never Told Me

When I was younger, I thought pastors had all the answers. They stood up there on Sundays with their Bibles, speaking so boldly, so sure of themselves. They prayed like God was sitting right next to them. They quoted Scripture like it was carved into their hearts.

And I used to think—“If I can just know what they know, if I can do what they do, maybe life will be easy.”

But as I grew older, I learned something: there are things my pastor never told me. Not because he wanted to hide them. Not because he didn’t care. But because some lessons you can’t be told—you have to live them.

1. Following God Is Not Always Easy

When I first gave my life to Christ, I thought it would fix everything. I thought peace would flood my life, and problems would disappear. My pastor preached about joy and victory, and I believed it meant smooth roads ahead.

But no one told me how hard it would be when my old friends didn’t want to hang out anymore because I wouldn’t do the things I used to do. No one told me about the loneliness of trying to live differently when everyone else was still living the same.

I remember one Friday night, sitting alone in my room while laughter and music floated in from the street outside. My old crew was out there, and I wasn’t. I told myself, “This is the right choice,” but inside it hurt. Following God isn’t always easy. Sometimes obedience feels like loss before it feels like gain.

2. Even Leaders Struggle in Silence

When I was younger, I thought pastors were like superheroes. Always strong. Always full of faith. Always sure. But one evening, after a late service, I saw my pastor sitting alone in the sanctuary. The lights were dim, the crowd was gone, and he had his head in his hands. I didn’t mean to spy, but I froze when I realized—he was weeping.

That image stayed with me. For the first time, I saw that leaders bleed too. Pastors carry burdens we don’t see. They cry in the dark, they wrestle with doubt, they wonder if they’re enough. My pastor never told me that from the pulpit, but I had to learn it anyway—leaders are human, and sometimes the ones holding everyone else up are the ones barely standing themselves.

3. Faith Won’t Fix Everything Overnight

I once prayed for my mother when she was sick. I laid my hands on her like I’d seen pastors do. I shouted, I cried, I quoted Scripture. I believed with all my heart that she’d get up healed. But she didn’t. Not that night. Not even the next week.

I was crushed. I thought maybe my faith wasn’t strong enough. Maybe I’d done it wrong. My pastor never told me that sometimes prayers take years to be answered. That some doors stay shut. That silence from heaven doesn’t mean absence—it means trust is being tested.

I had to learn that faith isn’t magic. It’s not instant. It’s clinging to God even when nothing changes.

4. Forgiveness Is Harder Than It Sounds

“Forgive as Christ forgave you.” I heard that verse preached so many times. And it sounded simple. Until the day someone I loved betrayed me. I remember lying awake, angry, replaying every word they said, every wound they left behind.

I whispered, “I forgive them,” but the bitterness stayed. I had to forgive again the next day. And the day after that. My pastor never told me forgiveness isn’t a one-time prayer—it’s a process. It’s choosing, sometimes through tears, not to let the wound control you. Forgiveness is beautiful, but it’s not easy.

5. Holiness Is a Daily Fight

I thought once I gave my life to Jesus, holiness would come naturally. That temptation would just roll off me. But no—temptation followed me everywhere. On my phone. In my thoughts. In moments when no one was watching.

There was a night I cried out, “God, why do I keep struggling if I’m saved?” I felt so weak, like a hypocrite. That’s when I realized holiness isn’t a one-time decision. It’s daily. Hour by hour. Sometimes minute by minute. My pastor never told me how exhausting that fight can feel—but it’s real. been a Christian is by grace of the lord 

Final Thoughts

I don’t say these things to blame my pastor. No. He preached what I needed to hear. He pointed me to Jesus. But some lessons can’t be handed to you in a sermon. You have to live them, stumble through them, and learn them with your own tears.

Now I know: following God is costly, but worth it. Leaders are human, but God is still faithful. Faith is messy, forgiveness is hard, holiness is a fight—but grace covers it all.

These are the things my pastor never told me—but God taught me anyway